 |
Seven Ages of Man - Times of India (Jan 17, 99) |
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare, As You Like It, II.vii.139-166
A few centuries ago, Shakespeare described the Seven Ages of Man
in his play "As You Like It". Today, as we enter the
final year of this millennium, we take a look at how the Internet
is revolutionising our lives, and how Shakespeare has been re-written.
Stage I: The Infant
At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
If you thought that the video recording of Julianne Moore giving
birth in Nine Months was high tech, you've not seen anything
as yet. On June 16, 1998, a 40-year-old Florida woman gave birth
to a boy in the first-ever live birth on the Internet. The promoters
- America's Health Network (http://www.ahn.com/) - promoted the
birth as an educational event, and had an estimated audience of
2 million people. Our next generation daddies could very well
be virtually present with his wife labouring in the hospital,
even while he's on a business trip.
As for the few things that go hand in hand with that bundle of
joy - crying, late nights, and diapers, first-time parents could
take some lessons in burping the baby, changing diapers, or coping
with the child's crying from the Net itself - available as tutorials
on Learn2 (http://www.learn2.com/).
To track the baby's growth, the parents can create and maintain
a multimedia online photo album, instantly allowing relatives
from all around the world to see, hear and watch the baby take
it's first steps, or catch it's first words… And as a career
beckons the Mum back to the rat race, the parents could admit
the child to an Internet savvy crèche, so that the they
can monitor their child from their computers in office (http://www.youRthere.com/daycare.htm)
Stage II: The School Boy
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel,
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.
As our little chappie is old enough to handle a mouse, he could
start using the Net by creating computer paintings and posting
them on one of many kiddie sites for the entire world to appreciate
instead of using the walls of the house as a canvas. When homework
from school begins, help is just a click away on the Internet
-the world's biggest library - with information on any topic under
the sun available (http://www.homeworkcentral.com/).
As foreign pastures lure the graduate, admissions to universities
abroad are just a few clicks away. Right from entrance exams to
information about different colleges, the application process
can now be completed online, money and time are saved by virtually
eliminating couriers and our snail mail system (postal system).
Once there, he can use the Net to discuss assignments with professors
in online chat rooms, submit their assignments by email, and download
notes from the college website - including the slides that the
professor used in his lecture earlier that morning.
As he approaches the end of his carefree college days, registering
at sites like BatchMates (http://www.batchmates.com) help him
to stay in touch with his classmates online. On the career front,
sites like MonsterBoard (http://www.monsterboard.com), or WinJobs
(http://www.winjobs.com/), could help him net a job online.
Stage III: The Lover
And then the lover
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.
Puppy love inevitably hits hard, and the Net is there to cushion
his fall with sites like SecretAdmirer (http://www.secretadmirer.com)
playing Cupid and putting the girl he has a crush on, in touch
with him only if she feels the same way about him. As love grows,
there are multimedia cards that can be personalised and sent to
his lady love through Hallmark (http://www.hallmarkconnections.com)
or hundreds of other card sites. Virtual flowers, virtual candy,
virtual presents (http://www.virtualpresents.com) why, even virtual
candlelit dinners (http://www.mailameal.com) are available free
on the Internet for the giving.
In the sad event that the romance does not proceed in real life,
our Romeo could turn back to the Net and tie the knot online instead
(http://www.nadtech.com/wedding.html)!
Stage IV: The Soldier
Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth.
As a soldier enters the battlefield, so does the object of our
attention enter the big bad world of work. His day starts off
by catching up with news he's interested in on his personalised
online newspaper (http://www.samachar.com/).
Throughout his working day he can co-ordinate and collaborate
online thanks to online messaging and paging applications (http://www.icq.com),
while lunch breaks could be used to meet up with online friends,
and make new ones. Meanwhile, he's still got miles to go on his
career graph before he achieves the next age…
Stage V: The Justice
And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part.
Now that our protagonist has grown in age and in wisdom, he's
reached a stage in his life where he's comfortably settled in
his career as well as social life. Along with that come a few
online perks - like being able to use the Net to get ball-by-ball
updates during cricket matches (http://www.cricinfo.org/). Or
plan his holidays using the Net - doing the hotel reservations,
airline ticket booking using the Net and getting rid of pesky
travel agents. Bargain hunters can now even name the price they're
willing to pay for an airline ticket, and chances are they'll
get the ticket at that price too (http://www.priceline.com). What
about getting hold of a book to read, or some music to listen
to while he's relaxing on a quite beach? Buy it online and track
the delivery status at the Fedex site till it is delivered home.
Being a corporate bigwig means working on vacations. But instead
of lugging a heavy laptop around, he could use a private virtual
briefcase
(http://www.briefcase.com/) on the Net that he can access
from a nearby cybercafe.
Stage VI: The Lean and Slipper'd Pantaloon
The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well saved a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.
While old age usually entails reduced functionality, the Internet
helps make life easier for people in Shakespeare's sixth age.
Instead of hobbling down to the grocer for his weekly requirements,
our oldie could just order online (http://www.bababazaar.com/).
Variety being the spice of life, our old pal could simply download
new recipes daily (http://www.recipe-a-day.com) for free!
Older And Wiser (http://www.olderandwiser.com/) is a site specially
for senior citizens - to the extent that they've even used big
fonts on the site to cater to the visitor's diminishing eyesight.
The site is a source for news, information, and finance for the
online "fifty-and-over" community on the Net.
As forgetfulness steps in, reminder services offered on the Net
come to the rescue sending email reminders a few days in advance
- a son's birthday, or even when the credit card or electricity
bill is to be paid.
Stage VII: Second Childishness
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
When the star of our piece reaches the grandparent stage, it's
time to log on to sites like Senior Living (http://seniorliving.miningco.com/)
- a golden resource for the silver haired folk. Tips on good grandparenting,
or maybe even long distance grandparenting abound, as do safety
tips to bear in mind when those hyperactive toddlers are visiting.
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
…and sans an Internet connection.
Logout.